No Vacations Allowed, Apparently

So I go down to Mexico for a few weeks, and I come back to find Enjolras in the hospital and blood all over the house--or, worse, people cleaning up the blood all over the house. When you come to show off your tan to your friends, you don't expect to trip over balding men in need of belts and wielding Bissell hoses like lances. I don't care how embarrassing the story is, Enjolras. I need a name to blame for this incident so that a reckoning can be considered. And don't even try to say it was an accident. The only accidents I'll believe concerning you and pointy objects involve someone else getting impaled, probably because they did something stupid. I'm surprised you haven't already starting organizing the retaliation, Combeferre. Slipping up, or was he really hurt that badly?

Also, in case anyone cares, Mexico was fun. There are a lot of beautiful women there. Most of the guys aren't too bad looking either.